Dead Duck!

Charles_Harding · 11th March 2008, 10:04

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.

He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£500!" she cried, "£500 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £500

DeanFYoung · 11th March 2008, 12:54

Great one!

allan40alt · 11th March 2008, 13:24

CH, that must be the worst joke I've heard.

But still funny.

PS: Hope you don't mind if I forward it to a few friends.

TTDegs · 11th March 2008, 13:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by allan40alt

PS: Hope you don't mind if I forward it to a few friends.

I doubt Charles will mind

your friends however....

11th March 2008, 10:04	#1 (permalink)
Charles_Harding Civinfo guru Join Date: 14th August 2006 Location: S.E. London Posts: 3,303 Thanks: 113 Thanked 27 Times in 26 Posts iTrader: (0)	Dead Duck! A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck Cuddles has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£500!" she cried, "£500 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £500

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This thread is about: Dead Duck!, it's in Any non Civic chat here please! at the Honda Civic forum Civinfo; A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope ...

11th March 2008, 12:54	#2 (permalink)
DeanFYoung Supporter Magic Rear Seat Join Date: 19th June 2007 Location: Southampton Posts: 572 Thanks: 9 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts iTrader: (0)	Great one!

11th March 2008, 13:24	#3 (permalink)
allan40alt Supporter Civinfo guru Join Date: 6th August 2006 Location: Rugby, Warwickshire. Posts: 2,255 Thanks: 12 Thanked 33 Times in 31 Posts iTrader: (0)	CH, that must be the worst joke I've heard. But still funny. PS: Hope you don't mind if I forward it to a few friends.