Men & Women

Charles_Harding · 29th April 2008, 15:20

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,Kate and Sarah .If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each otheras Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, eventhough it's only for £32.50.None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit theywant change back.When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's onsale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shavingcream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favouritefoods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

allan40alt · 29th April 2008, 15:33

Every one a winner; every one true!

Topcat · 29th April 2008, 16:00

I dont think so !!

Women dress up to water plants oh please these type of jokes are so ridiculous an boring.

337 items in a bathroom !! Charles where do you find this rubbish from?

NEEMSTAR · 29th April 2008, 16:02

great JOKES

FWH · 29th April 2008, 19:00

Not sure about kick cats, but other than that...

Bungle · 30th April 2008, 13:31

i would agree with all but the cat one. Is it a joke? It looks like an accurate article to me!

Topcat · 30th April 2008, 13:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bungle

. Is it a joke? It looks like an accurate article to me!

No Bungle it is definately a joke;

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed !!!!!

Bungle · 30th April 2008, 14:08

I cetainly wake up looking good!

29th April 2008, 15:20	#1 (permalink)
Charles_Harding Civinfo guru Join Date: 14th August 2006 Location: S.E. London Posts: 2,783 Thanks: 30 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts	Men & Women NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,Kate and Sarah .If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each otheras Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, eventhough it's only for £32.50.None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit theywant change back.When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's onsale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shavingcream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. CATS Women love cats.Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favouritefoods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes.There's no use in two people remembering the same thing. Last edited by Charles_Harding; 29th April 2008 at 15:23.

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This thread is about: Men & Women, it's in Any non Civic chat here please! at the Honda Civic forum Civinfo; NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah . If Mike, Dave and John ...

29th April 2008, 15:33	#2 (permalink)
allan40alt Supporter Civinfo guru Join Date: 6th August 2006 Location: Rugby, Warwickshire. Posts: 2,138 Thanks: 6 Thanked 26 Times in 25 Posts	Every one a winner; every one true!

29th April 2008, 16:00	#3 (permalink)
Topcat Supporter Civinfo guru Join Date: 11th May 2006 Location: Middlesex Posts: 2,738 Thanks: 0 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts	I dont think so !! Women dress up to water plants oh please these type of jokes are so ridiculous an boring. 337 items in a bathroom !! Charles where do you find this rubbish from?

29th April 2008, 16:02	#4 (permalink)
NEEMSTAR Nobody gets out alive Rocketship door handle Join Date: 7th October 2007 Location: In your mind Posts: 1,020 Thanks: 23 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts	great JOKES

29th April 2008, 19:00	#5 (permalink)
FWH Super Moderator Civinfo guru Join Date: 3rd June 2007 Location: Sweden Posts: 4,786 Thanks: 3 Thanked 22 Times in 19 Posts	Not sure about kick cats, but other than that...

30th April 2008, 13:31	#6 (permalink)
Bungle Rocketship door handle Join Date: 3rd July 2006 Location: SE London/Kent Posts: 1,217 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	i would agree with all but the cat one. Is it a joke? It looks like an accurate article to me!

30th April 2008, 14:08	#8 (permalink)
Bungle Rocketship door handle Join Date: 3rd July 2006 Location: SE London/Kent Posts: 1,217 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	I cetainly wake up looking good!