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Old 1st May 2008, 17:35   #1 (permalink)
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Not for TopcAT!

CASH MACHINES MACHINEA new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
17. Write amount withdrawn in cheque register and place receipt in back of cheque book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate credit card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on mobile phone to explain how wonderfully quick the new drive-through ATM machines are.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Last edited by Charles_Harding : 1st May 2008 at 17:38.
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Old 1st May 2008, 17:40   #2 (permalink)
2know all is 2forgive all
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ROFL haha that is great
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Old 1st May 2008, 19:20   #3 (permalink)
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That's the good thing about jokes; they exaggerate the truth to make a situation funny.....and that's funny.
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Old 1st May 2008, 19:57   #4 (permalink)
More gadgets than Bond!
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She's not going to be happy!
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Old 1st May 2008, 20:32   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by copland View Post
She's not going to be happy!


Can't see why not, unless you've got an odd sense of humour, or are a bit too sensitive!
I like it!
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Old 2nd May 2008, 06:31   #6 (permalink)
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I just look out of the window and see if I can spot any steam rising from her direction
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