Mid-life crisis...???

[Maxbert]

Folks (and Folkettes, of course...)-

I can't seem to recall ever having got together (virtually) with a more level-headed, erudite and witty bunch of people, or visited a better forum, so if anyone can advise, it's probably one of you, so here goes-

Help! Tomorrow is my 10th wedding anniversary, 2 kids, great wife, I guess our family life is as good as can be expected, SO WHY AM I NOW DEVELOPING AN UNHEALTHY INTEREST IN ONE OF MY COLLEAGUES AT WORK AND HOW DO I STOP IT???

Sorry for shouting there, but this is really the last thing I need!!! OK, I suppose if you put a reasonably normal male in close proximity to an attractive, intelligent, witty female for 8 hours a day for several months chances are said male may... may, well, be a male, I suppose, but honestly! I have not felt this since I first met my wife 15 years ago, what's this?? I don't need this teenage cr@p!

Any ideas...?

PS No, I'm not hopelessly besotted, and have NO intention of seeing what develops- How do I ensure things stay this way?

Honda Civic connection- Maxbert is 38, and has traded 14 odd-years' worth of Espaces and Voyagers for a Civic which will FINALLY BE DELIVERED END OF THE WEEK!!!

[Jobo]

Maxbert, you have my sympathies.
PS Put your Civic on hold and order a red S2000 instead - much more pulling power! Sorry!!!!

[Maxbert]

Jobo this is the whole point- I don't want to pull! I'm terrified of waking up one day and thinking "Right, wonder what happens if I try to see whether the feeling's mutual?"

I really don't want to go there, plus, all I know of the lady's husband (Yeah, make life really easy for yourself, Maxbert... ) is that he enjoys popping off automatics at the shooting-gallery (still legal here in Lux...)!

[basegreen]

It's in our genes.. all I can say is that if you wanted to throw all that was good about your family away - to turn that love you get into hate, then go right ahead.

[Jobo]

I think it's always much more difficult when you have children. All relationships go through bad patches.Didn't mean to flippant earlier - sorry.

[Maxbert]

Hang on, folks, on the phone...

[Maxbert]

OK, back in business.

Jobo- No flippancy taken, not to worry! I don't think there really is a bad patch anyway...

Basegreen.... Not sure you took my previous posts in fully... I don't want to fall for anyone! I don't want to swap what I know I have for something unknown, driven by forces other than my brain (I'm not there yet, anyway-). My plea for help is:

How do I banish early signs of potential infatuation???

[sarahjo]

Originally Posted by Maxbert

OK, back in business.

Jobo- No flippancy taken, not to worry! I don't think there really is a bad patch anyway...

Basegreen.... Not sure you took my previous posts in fully... I don't want to fall for anyone! I don't want to swap what I know I have for something unknown, driven by forces other than my brain (I'm not there yet, anyway-). My plea for help is:

How do I banish early signs of potential infatuation???

Well from the female perspective.....put on a blind fold...stop wearing what is probably very attractive aftershave.

Infatuation is not an affair and isn't a bad thing...it's only bad if you choose to take it there!!!!!

Here is the voice of a lady married for 12 years..in a crap one....2 kids......husband was bonking elsewhere...and i feel crap cos i had a brief affair a couple of weeks prior to leaving him ( not the reason i went...went cos he was a ************************)

He was having an affair for 5 years...how thick am i!!!!

Hope that helps

[misterpro]

Originally Posted by Maxbert

Folks (and Folkettes, of course...)-

I can't seem to recall ever having got together (virtually) with a more level-headed, erudite and witty bunch of people, or visited a better forum, so if anyone can advise, it's probably one of you, so here goes-

Help! Tomorrow is my 10th wedding anniversary, 2 kids, great wife, I guess our family life is as good as can be expected, SO WHY AM I NOW DEVELOPING AN UNHEALTHY INTEREST IN ONE OF MY COLLEAGUES AT WORK AND HOW DO I STOP IT???

Sorry for shouting there, but this is really the last thing I need!!! OK, I suppose if you put a reasonably normal male in close proximity to an attractive, intelligent, witty female for 8 hours a day for several months chances are said male may... may, well, be a male, I suppose, but honestly! I have not felt this since I first met my wife 15 years ago, what's this?? I don't need this teenage cr@p!

Any ideas...?

PS No, I'm not hopelessly besotted, and have NO intention of seeing what develops- How do I ensure things stay this way?

Honda Civic connection- Maxbert is 38, and has traded 14 odd-years' worth of Espaces and Voyagers for a Civic which will FINALLY BE DELIVERED END OF THE WEEK!!!

If nothing in your current relationship is wrong I'd say, ignore it. Think it's just one of those "grass is greener on the other side of the fence" things.

Originally Posted by sarahjo

Well from the female perspective.....put on a blind fold...stop wearing what is probably very attractive aftershave.

Infatuation is not an affair and isn't a bad thing...it's only bad if you choose to take it there!!!!!

Here is the voice of a lady married for 12 years..in a crap one....2 kids......husband was bonking elsewhere...and i feel crap cos i had a brief affair a couple of weeks prior to leaving him ( not the reason i went...went cos he was a ************************)

He was having an affair for 5 years...how thick am i!!!!

Hope that helps

Don't feel bad about it, the a s s h o l e isn't either likely.

[sarahjo]

Originally Posted by misterpro

If nothing in your current relationship is wrong I'd say, ignore it. Think it's just one of those "grass is greener on the other side of the fence" things.




Don't feel bad about it, the ******* isn't either likely.

No tell me about it ...he's already introduced her as their potential step mother...like she could take my place
Do you think this is helping Maaxbert with his issue Oh well ...i feel i've off loaded

[Maxbert]

Damn! Just lost an epic reply to sarahjo (You are not logged in, gnah, gnah, gnah...)

Anyway-

misterpro you make a lot of sense- Problem is, working in an open space, six to a row of desks, three opposite three, not so easy... (this goes back to sarahjo's blindfold scheme... ). Grass is greener, yeah, but when you stare at it all bloody day...

Aftershave? I'm not the one on the pull!

sarahjo- I thought "all men are $%&!!#$%!!" only applied to other men, I'm beginning to realise how easy it can be- Jesus, it's like I'm 16 again, come ON, Maxbert!!!

[sarahjo]

Originally Posted by Maxbert

Damn! Just lost an epic reply to sarahjo (You are not logged in, gnah, gnah, gnah...)

Anyway-

misterpro you make a lot of sense- Problem is, working in an open space, six to a row of desks, three opposite three, not so easy... (this goes back to sarahjo's blindfold scheme... ). Grass is greener, yeah, but when you stare at it all bloody day...

Aftershave? I'm not the one on the pull!

sarahjo- I thought "all men are $%&!!#$%!!" only applied to other men, I'm beginning to realise how easy it can be- Jesus, it's like I'm 16 again, come ON, Maxbert!!!

No men are phenomonal...i just picked a prick...we are all allowed to make mistakes......i am logged on by the way..if i'm not what the heck have i done.......oh she is coming on to you....god.....ok no answers...i'd prob be the one doing the flirting...which won't help.....

[sarahjo]

Just to say...aftershave wasn't a dig at you...just saying that some men smell very scrummy and girlies like it

[Maxbert]

No no no- She is blissfully ignorant of my nascent feelings- She would probably (and rightly?) laugh like a drain if these were to be revealed- I don't want to reveal them, I want this to go away and I want to go back in time about, oh, 3 weeks,before this ***** started...

Aaarghhhh- I've done my breeding, after all- Castration, maybe? Alcohol? Sod it, I should never have quit smoking!

[sarahjo]

Originally Posted by Maxbert

No no no- She is blissfully ignorant of my nascent feelings- She would probably (and rightly?) laugh like a drain if these were to be revealed- I don't want to reveal them, I want this to go away and I want to go back in time about, oh, 3 weeks,before this ***** started...

Aaarghhhh- I've done my breeding, after all- Castration, maybe? Alcohol? Sod it, I should never have quit smoking!

Well........it has been said already grass is always greener......spice up your home life No one needs to know what you're thinking...my ex had no idea i was thinking about...Freddie Lljunberg ( don't go there), Jason Pebworth..yummy.........Jacques Villenueve...Jenson Button......A rather gorgeous couple of med reps i knew...the list is endless

[Topcat]

Do nothing, say nothing - get on with your life as usual and enjoy your 10th wedding anniversary, it is a mid life crisis (I think we all have them)!! You will get over it

[Maxbert]

sarahjo- I'm off to bed now, I'd be more than happy to discuss further later on!

Topcat- Possibly the most sensible answer I have had, hey, I'll give it a shot!

G'night all'

Maxbert

[basegreen]

Just let it lie. It's alright to admire people, find people attractive and whatnot. Just don't act on it. Bit of flirting is very different to having an affair so don't be so hard on yourself.

[Jobo]

Originally Posted by basegreen

Just let it lie. It's alright to admire people, find people attractive and whatnot. Just don't act on it. Bit of flirting is very different to having an affair so don't be so hard on yourself.

Wise head on young shoulders, basegreen.

[jayt43]

Might I suggest a week of quiet contemplation at a Benedictine Monastery? Or, better still, a course of leeches!