European Commission announces "Euro English"

Jpetrie · 26th October 2012, 18:23

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government has conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and therefore accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that will become known as "Euro English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph"will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate spelling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z", and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikults and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze dream of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze first plas

davetwin · 26th October 2012, 18:31

Fantastic, love it

Sent from my AndroWookified Transformer Prime using Tapatalk 2

shootgun · 26th October 2012, 18:32

you made my day mate....

robbo51 · 26th October 2012, 18:38

Its good to re read old Jokes...It makes them easier to remember

Jpetrie · 26th October 2012, 18:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by robbo51

Its good to re read old Jokes...It makes them easier to remember

It's even better to read threads from crying attention seekers who claim they aren't going to post on the forum anymore.

FWH · 26th October 2012, 18:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpetrie

It's even better to read threads from crying attention seekers who claim they aren't going to post on the forum anymore.

You really don't understand the concept of not making insulting posts, do you?

Jpetrie · 26th October 2012, 18:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by FWH

You really don't understand the concept of not making insulting posts, do you?

I didn't mention any names.. He said he likes re reading old jokes, and I merely stated I enjoy reading threads created for the purpose of attention seeking.

FWH · 26th October 2012, 19:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpetrie

I didn't mention any names.. He said he likes re reading old jokes, and I merely stated I enjoy reading threads created for the purpose of attention seeking.

You quoted the previous post, so I think it was quite clear who you were referring to.

civicnewbie · 26th October 2012, 19:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpetrie

I didn't mention any names.. He said he likes re reading old jokes, and I merely stated I enjoy reading threads created for the purpose of attention seeking.

Sensing some history and tension here !

Jpetrie · 26th October 2012, 19:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by FWH

I think it was quite clear who you were referring to.

I think the problem here is that you think that Robbo is an annoying attention seeker. Your post implies that I must be talking about him, and it's impossible I was referring to anyone else.

I'd take offence to that, if I were you, Robbo

civicnewbie · 26th October 2012, 19:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpetrie

I think the problem here is that you think that Robbo is an annoying attention seeker. Your post implies that I must be talking about him, and it's impossible I was referring to anyone else.

I'd take offence to that, if I were you, Robbo

You quoted his comment in your own reply though

civicnewbie · 26th October 2012, 19:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpetrie

I think the problem here is that you think that Robbo is an annoying attention seeker. Your post implies that I must be talking about him, and it's impossible I was referring to anyone else.

I'd take offence to that, if I were you, Robbo

You may as well drop the "not" the way you are gong

Jpetrie · 26th October 2012, 19:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by civicnewbie

You quoted his comment in your own reply though

Yes, I was talking to him, that doesn't mean he was the person I was referring to...

Eurogreg · 26th October 2012, 19:43

Sensational

civicnewbie · 26th October 2012, 19:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpetrie

Yes, I was talking to him, that doesn't mean he was the person I was referring to...

Really who was it aimed at, pretty confused now

Syx · 26th October 2012, 19:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by robbo51

Its good to re read old Jokes...It makes them easier to remember

+1

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpetrie

I think the problem here is that you think that Robbo is an annoying attention seeker. Your post implies that I must be talking about him, and it's impossible I was referring to anyone else.

I'd take offence to that, if I were you, Robbo

dbbfd2 · 26th October 2012, 19:51

Everytime I read a thread from this poster he's having a go at someone. Get a grip

Your spoiling my civinfo experience.

para999 · 26th October 2012, 19:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpetrie

I think the problem here is that you think that Robbo is an annoying attention seeker. Your post implies that I must be talking about him, and it's impossible I was referring to anyone else.

I'd take offence to that, if I were you, Robbo

Why are you so intent in winding the mods up just so you can get banned?

You already have 3 infractions, how much longer before the 4th and you are banned?

Why not simply log off a while and log back again when you are in a better frame of mind?

ElNino9 · 26th October 2012, 19:57

Jpetrie whats your problem fella ?

You won't find a more friendly bunch than on civinfo but you don't seem to wanna play nice ?

Jpetrie · 26th October 2012, 20:04

If you look at the first two posts, they clearly appreciated the thread. I recently read this joke, thought it was good, and that I'd share it.

Then we see the third post down, someone who claims people don't play fair with him and wonders why..

Just because he has read it, doesn't mean other's haven't. It's simple, don't post sarcastic, unnecessary comments and we won't have a problem. I started this thread with good intentions.

26th October 2012, 18:23	#1 (permalink)
Jpetrie Banned Car: 2008 2.2 NHB Type S GT Join Date: 11th March 2011 Location: Southampton Posts: 1,790 Thanks given: 125 Thanked 272 Times in 206 Posts iTrader: (7)	European Commission announces "Euro English" The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government has conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and therefore accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that will become known as "Euro English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph"will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate spelling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z", and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikults and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze dream of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze first plas

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26th October 2012, 18:31	#2 (permalink)
davetwin Supporter Car: 2008 Civic 1.8 Sport Join Date: 24th September 2012 Location: Melksham, Wiltshire, UK Posts: 379 Thanks given: 218 Thanked 130 Times in 107 Posts iTrader: (3)	Fantastic, love it Sent from my AndroWookified Transformer Prime using Tapatalk 2

26th October 2012, 18:32	#3 (permalink)
shootgun Sharpshooter Car: 2010 Horizon Turquoise CR-Z Join Date: 19th October 2012 Location: London, Uk Posts: 214 Thanks given: 10 Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts iTrader: (1)	you made my day mate....

26th October 2012, 18:38	#4 (permalink)
robbo51 Civinfo Trader Join Date: 1st July 2007 Location: Bingley, West Yorks Posts: 15,448 Thanks given: 1,112 Thanked 1,479 Times in 1,363 Posts iTrader: (8)	Its good to re read old Jokes...It makes them easier to remember

26th October 2012, 19:43	#14 (permalink)
Eurogreg Supporter Car: 2008 NHB CTR, 2011 PWP CR-Z Join Date: 18th July 2011 Location: Budapest Posts: 216 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 17 Times in 13 Posts iTrader: (0)	Sensational

26th October 2012, 19:51	#17 (permalink)
dbbfd2 Supporter Car: 2007 VBP FD2 Join Date: 29th February 2012 Location: Wigtown Posts: 1,127 Thanks given: 303 Thanked 261 Times in 235 Posts iTrader: (1)	Everytime I read a thread from this poster he's having a go at someone. Get a grip Your spoiling my civinfo experience.

26th October 2012, 19:57	#19 (permalink)
ElNino9 Supporter Car: 59/FN4 Civic Type S Join Date: 12th August 2009 Location: Barry Nr Cardiff Posts: 2,359 Thanks given: 253 Thanked 316 Times in 289 Posts iTrader: (24)	Jpetrie whats your problem fella ? You won't find a more friendly bunch than on civinfo but you don't seem to wanna play nice ?

26th October 2012, 20:04	#20 (permalink)
Jpetrie Banned Thread starter Car: 2008 2.2 NHB Type S GT Join Date: 11th March 2011 Location: Southampton Posts: 1,790 Thanks given: 125 Thanked 272 Times in 206 Posts iTrader: (7)	If you look at the first two posts, they clearly appreciated the thread. I recently read this joke, thought it was good, and that I'd share it. Then we see the third post down, someone who claims people don't play fair with him and wonders why.. Just because he has read it, doesn't mean other's haven't. It's simple, don't post sarcastic, unnecessary comments and we won't have a problem. I started this thread with good intentions.