Why English is hard to learn

[TTDegs]

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present..
8 ) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18 ) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise Belgium!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither >from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible..

[Munro]

That is only the start. Punctuation confuses even more, ref the famous book title with a Panda on the cover ( what difference a comma makes ):

Eats shoots and leaves
Eats, shoots and leaves

[dondon]

Note to foreigners:
Do not try to swear in English.

There is a wonderful quote in one of the volumes of David Niven's autobiography, which is referred to in the book's title.

On the set of a film with a Hungarian director who was often laughed at for his English.

The director wanted the riderless horses brought on to the set and said "bring on the empty horses" (book title). Much merriment.

He then lost his temper and said "you people, you think I know f**k nothing. Well, let me tell you, I know f**k all". Even more merriment

[GHGH]

Yes, it's tough being a Norwegian, but somebody has to do it.

[HappyMan]

Here is one for you from poland -

"What did you do this weekend?" I asked

"I went shopping and my friend Andrzej was in me" replied the woman

Even the simplest of question can confuse!!!

I have more

[Koen]

A real life example (and English is more or less pretty common here):

- Here at the office we use electronic door locks with contactless key fobs. So you hold you keyfob in front of a "reader", and the door opens (or not).
- In the beginning all doors opened all the time, so when anyone held his key in front of the reader, they got in. There were 2 leds on the reader: "ok" and "refused". No explanation needed I guess.
- When the system became fully functional, and not all doors opened to everyone any more, a man called the helpdesk.

"Have you got spare fuses for these new electronic badges? Mine seems to be blown..."

K.

[TTDegs]

The bare bear bared his soul in the woods to the fisherman, asking if he would give him the sole he had caught.
"I can't" said the fisherman, "I'm on my way to court, on poaching charges".


If a young horse is born in a big ditch, would it be a fole?

If a chicken made a really nasty tackle, would it be a foul?

If Pottsy was at work, but there were no logos on his aircraft, would he be flying a plain?
Or if Foggy's work transport had no logos, would he be driving a trane?

[freddo1]

And for all the other Janners on here:
"Twinkle, twinkle little star, where I wonder where you to"
"Can't do it now, I'll do it dreckly"

[TTDegs]

isn't everything done dreckly in Cornwall?